Marriage is one of the most important turns of the life of people in India. It is not only a celebration event for families and society, but a kind of renovation comes in the life of two strange people (arrange marriage). By the time being There are so many things change in the new family for a girl who newly entered in and some adjustments are also to accept for that family as well. You can hear there are some interruptions rise between the new member and the rest of family after a few months of marriage.
What happens under the walls that reflect over the boundaries of the house? According to the discussion of some expert psychologists and family counselors, there are some minor things become major issues in in-law-family for a girl and some for the family as well. Let’s have a short review of this common but unfavorable situation, what things make this problem a disaster for both family and personal lives.
Mind-Set a family takes that girl as a new member of the family and this is the very first damage of the relationships. What happens– A girl comes with the hope that she is going to her own house and family, but that family takes her as a new member, in the sense, she is the person
who has to change, modify or design herself to be a part of this family. So when a mistake was done by that girl, all the blame impose upon her as one and only responsible for that mistake. What should have – That new member never treated as an external; if you allow her to live like her Mother-house she will be more responsible. She needs proper support to understand the traditions and decorum from the ladies of family and appreciation from the males.
Blames Life has a long and wide span to live with, there are so many things will rise and nobody would be ready for them, surprisingly something happens and nobody stands to bear the responsibility for that. Ultimately the new member centered for that and it is quite embarrassing. What happens – Nobody was in the house at the time when a child comes in the house from neighbor family and broke a wash made of glass. Whose fault is this? Of course, the child, but family members especially ladies blame the daughter-in-law as why you didn’t stop that child for unrestrained running.
What should have – The situation is that comes suddenly and without intentions, so better to leave it as an accident rather than blaming that girl because if she didn’t allow that child to be entered and play around than your neighbor relations go sour and please keep in mind she is also a well-wisher of your family due to a part of the family. She never wants any situation that affects negatively upon the family in any manner. Assuming that will never change, this will never happen, nobody does it, who does like this and all and all and all. These are the words that damage the direct conversation like the termite. Never assume anything like a deity; you never know what the truth behind the happening is if you were not there.
What happens - Ladies of the family discuss with neighbor or relatives that my daughter-in-law will never change, she can’t do this, she will be ever as she is, she never thinks like this. She is dumb, she doesn't know anything, she talks too much to her mother or friends, and she doesn't spend time with us. What should have - What I would say here to all the ladies of India families regarding the daughter-in-law issues – आइना जब भी उठाया करो, पहऱे देखो फिर ददखाया करो... चाहत तो सबको है मुस्कान की, कभी तुम भी तो हंस के ददखाया करो…?
When you pick the mirror, first face it then show it. I am not saying that you were wrong also, but take her as a big follower of you, so please set the examples then react upon. For more discussion, I will be back in my next article…Thanks for reading.
